Rainmearainbow

Where there is hope, there will be love.

by Thought Catalog

I think the worst part of it is that it’s all driven by fear. A constant, underlying fear in everything I do. Failure. The Unknown. Being alone. Perhaps most of all the fear of waking up in 20 years time and realizing it all wasn’t worth it. Realising I should have done something else. Realizing I should have loved someone else. Realising all the time and opportunity I wasted. And that is what is truly terrifying.

And it is this that holds me back.

Stop terrifying myself so much with the idea of the future that I’m too afraid to take action in the present. Stop questioning myself so much and give my maimed self-confidence enough time to heal and repair.

I’m capable of great things and I know I am. And so are you. It’s just about belief. And we’ll get there, no fear.

Thought Catalog

I find myself in a constant state of confusion. I feel happy, content with my life but every day I wake into the light of the morning sun questioning everything. I know questioning things is good, yet I can’t help but wonder if it ever holds me back? Does all this analysis lead to paralysis? I question not only question everything around me but perhaps, most importantly, myself. That can’t be good can it? Or is it? Or am I just over thinking?

These are questions I find myself asking on a daily basis:

  • Am I supposed to know what I want to do by now?
  • If so, am I supposed to know how to do it?
  • If not, will I need to find out soon?
  • How do I find out?
  • Do I want you?
  • Do I want anyone?
  • Do I just want wine and chocolate?
  • Am I supposed to find things…

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by Thought Catalog

[This article, I feel like I could relate to this, such a sweet piece of article.]

She sat across the table from me and she said, “You’re not my friend anymore. You’re my family. You know? I feel like I could do almost anything to you and we’d still love each other.”

“Please don’t do anything to me,” I said.

“You know what I mean,” she said, “family is forever.”

Thought Catalog

She sat across the table from me and she said, “You’re not my friend anymore. You’re my family. You know? I feel like I could do almost anything to you and we’d still love each other.”

“Please don’t do anything to me,” I said.

“You know what I mean,” she said, “family is forever.”

Have you ever loved someone so much you want to bite into them so hard you break their skin? Like the way babies and kittens make you want to bite them; it’s not because you want to eat them necessarily, but just because it’s so insanely stupid how wonderful they are and you’re confused about what else you could possibly do to convey that.

She bit me once. We were at a party in Melbourne and it was late, or early, I never know which is which–it was late since we first started drinking but early…

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by Thought Catalog

Such a wonderful thing it is, to be chased. To be adored and flattered and most certainly wanted. It is, after all, why we don’t mind when our phones beep and vibrate, letting us know that someone we not so certainly want wants us. But we keep them around because we don’t want it to stop—because that flattery is like a good scotch we want to nurse for a while. Or, at least, until we get sick of it and want to switch to gin.

Thought Catalog

Such a wonderful thing it is, to be chased. To be adored and flattered and most certainly wanted. It is, after all, why we don’t mind when our phones beep and vibrate, letting us know that someone we not so certainly want wants us. But we keep them around because we don’t want it to stop—because that flattery is like a good scotch we want to nurse for a while. Or, at least, until we get sick of it and want to switch to gin.

I’ve been there before—holding on to something I didn’t really want just in case I decided I wanted it. Completely unwilling to cut things off for fear I’d want them again, selfishly holding on because, well, the attention is always satisfying. I’ve played and toyed with someone else’s feelings knowingly aware of the pain I’d be causing but choosing to ignore the reality. And then…

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by Thought Catalog

Love…

Thought Catalog

I believe you are my person. I love you, even though you don’t love me. I love you, even though there’s nothing in it for me anymore. There’s just loving you, but that’s enough for me. I find you to be one of the most exquisite humans I’ve ever met, and knowing you is all it takes to love you. I don’t need anything in return. Getting to be acquainted with your intelligence, depth, understanding, endurance, humor, wisdom, (I could go on), is what love is, and it’s why I choose to love you so intently.

Thank you for loving me when I didn’t love myself. I pushed away because I believed that I wasn’t worthy of love. I came back because I thought you were the only person who cared.

But you weren’t, and you’re not. You were, however, the person with whom I fell most intensely in love…

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by Thought Catalog

Sometimes, though, you have to say goodbye. You make the decisions that are based more on self-love and self-preservation than we are used to making, decisions which remind us that we are are not just half of a whole, but a whole in ourselves, something that needs care and attention. There will come a point at which your love for someone else — your will for them to get better, to stop hurting you, to stop hurting themselves — will be overcome with a more palpable love for being healthy and safe. And when it happens, saying goodbye is no longer a choice. It is simply a move we must make, even if a part of us wants to cling to the notion that it will one day prove still alive.

And they may get better. They may change. They may become that person that you imagined they would one day be, free of the harmful habits which made you leave in the first place. But you may find that you, too, have changed while you were waiting. You may no longer fit the puzzle you left, nor want the happiness you once felt could only come from being within it. Sometimes we wish it would be a “see you later,” but are relieved to find that it was really a “goodbye.”

Thought Catalog

He was hurting himself. There wasn’t quite the obvious drawing of blood as in, say, a razor to the inner wrists, but he wanted to feel something. I would watch him go out with his friends and say “We’re going to get a drink to celebrate a friend’s promotion, I’ll call you around eight for dinner.” I knew not to pick up my phone until much later the next day, when there would be an apology and an explanation as to why he didn’t ever call. There was always a reason that was as complex as it was credible, but was never more than a cover-up for what he was really doing. We both knew he was drinking — and knew that the other knew it — but I think it helped him to say that he had a problem with his car.

Some people aren’t necessarily soothing a pain…

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More Than Words.

by rainmearainbow

Saying I love you 
Is not the words I want to hear from you 
It’s not that I want you 
Not to say, but if you only knew 
How easy it would be to show me how you feel 
More than words is all you have to do to make it real 
Then you wouldn’t have to say that you love me 
‘Cause I’d already know ♥

Monday (NOT) Blue.

by rainmearainbow

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How can my Monday be blue if it started off in the right way. I woke up early on ny own, paid respect to Grandma at temple (three days in a row since Saturday) and taken to breakfast on an impromtu decision to KFC at Kovan, Heartland Mall. My all-time-favourite A.M. Porridge meal, delucious! 🙂

Sunday Night.

by rainmearainbow

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Nasi Ayam at Gourmet Paradise at HDB Hub for dindin! 🙂 So sad, cos that malay stall with Grandma’s favorite Gado-Gado and Tauhu Goreng not around anymore. I miss the food!

Saturday Night.

by rainmearainbow

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Someone was craving for Roti Prata. The initial place planned to go to, has no parking lots. All full around the area, ended up at a random place, Chennai Hut. First time in my life, I ate prata till I cried cos so spicy the curry.

Friday Night.

by rainmearainbow

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Plan to try Azmi Chapatti last night failed. Finally made it to try it tonight. I doubt I ever eaten Chapatti before, but read good reviews about jt and decided to give it a try. It never failed me, very nice indian food indeed! 🙂